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Company Creates Legal Hemp-Derived Cocaine, LCB Forms a Workgroup to Study the Issue, Sales of New Product Move Forward During Study Period 
Published 12:01 am ET Apr. 1, 2021

     Washington State based company Omni Delta Corp announced that they have been able to create a tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) isomer that closely resembles the look and intoxicating effects of cocaine and are certain it is fully legal. “We have cracked the code for synthetic hemp derivatives and isomers, and we did it over one long weekend” says Derek Fillinger, the companies Chief Science Officer.  Omni Delta Corp has called this new isomer THC Delta O. State and federal regulators have not yet stopped the sale of synthetic hemp derivatives & isomers, and this new development certainly will highlight the agencies failure to enforce regulations banning artificially derived compounds. Given the tacit acceptance and proliferation of other hemp derived synthetics in the marketplace after the passage of the 2018 farm bill, Omni Delta Corp believes they are fully compliant with state and federal law. Other psychoactive synthetic hemp derivatives such as Delta-8 and Delta-10 have been sold nationwide for the last year under this interpretation of the law. Omni Delta Corp is excited to get its latest novel cannabinoid to market expanding their consumer base to include more teenagers and young adults. The company says it is not cocaine but looks exactly the same, and comes very close to the effect of cocaine.   

      After the success of their chemically synthesized delta-9 THC line Omni Delta Corp expressed confidence that due to the affordability of synthetic hemp derived THC most consumers would soon only be ingesting synthetic cannabinoids. “We plan to continue to disrupt the drug trade with our fully legal synthetic hemp derivatives.  We estimate that most marijuana farmers in Washington State and other legal states will be unable to compete with our revolutionary chemistry of new and novel synthesized hemp derivatives.  We are killing the legal marijuana trade, and we hope to put cocaine dealers out of business next.  We’re clearing the playing field and as you can tell by our stock price, investors are betting big on a future without traditional marijuana derived THC or illegally imported cocaine.”   

     When asked about the legality of hemp derived cocaine the spokesperson from Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board (WSLCB) was quick to explain that they have a very narrow scope of authority which limits them to only regulating delta-9 THC.  When asked about possible health risks associated with these new chemically synthesized isomers of THC that have not been studied, the WSLCB favored a “wait and see” approach, figuring that if they were toxic to humans, they would find out soon enough as they are being widely consumed.  When asked about the rules prohibiting synthetic cannabinoids as well as their inclusion on the state Controlled Substance Act the WSLCB spokesperson shrugged and said, “Look, we’re not chemists, we can barely understand this stuff”.  

     Regarding the safety of these novel manufactured cannabinoids Omni Delta Corp is confident they have made a safe, pure, and consistent product. “Our first attempts created the target products, but also a lot of toxic byproduct chemicals” says the company chemist. “anytime you create isomers from a molecule you run the risk of creating unintended and harmful chemicals, but we eventually figured it out, as far as we know anyway.”    

"We have neglected the truth that a good farmer is a craftsman of the highest order, a kind of artist" -Wendell Berry

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Cannabis photography by Kristen Angelo/ A Pot Farmer's Daughter

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